Search This Blog

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Aleia's Writing

Break out
 It was a cold winter night I was sitting on a cold concrete bed behind bars in a cell that was so old moss and gooey fungus grew between the ancient walls. I decided it was go time I looked at the janitors’ ladder it had a strange metal glow under the light of the full moon. I grabbed the shinning ladder and pulled it through the rusting bars of my cell and leaned it against one of those ancient walls and pulled out the only weapon I had. I smashed through the closed window and slid down the roof sending a shower of old red tiles in my wake I raced to my red and purple bike witch was covered in rusty yellow chains I then pulled out a hair pin I kept in my hair and picked the dirty lock but before I left I checked everything was ok it was, I hopped on my bike did a kick start I was off. But….. I had just remembered the stupid dogs were on guard and I had nothing to defend myself with. Then suddenly I was being chased by giant rot welliers and huge great Danes small but tough bulldogs and hundreds more I zoomed through a dark ally the air whipped at my face as if to say go back go back but NO I kept going until I came to a black wall tall and hard and it was coming my way it was about fifty feet high was I going I hopped I was that’s when I saw a plank a huge long metal plank that just reached the top I aimed for it and whoosh I flew through the air like a torpedo then I stopped I was hanging in the air and next minute I was on the ground lying in pain I thought I broke every bone in my body but I was brave and I hopped back onto my dented bike and moving in little spurts I zoomed away into the still winter night. And I never saw that terrible place again!
By Aleia

6 comments:

  1. This is a great piece of writing Aleia. You have used some fantastic language and created some very clear images. I can't wait to read more of your writing during the year.

    ReplyDelete
  2. great job aleia
    you used lots of verry discriptive writing.
    i can't wait to here more great writing from you this year.
    from Nikita :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fantastic, Aleia! Your story was fab apart from that you only used 7 full stops.

    from Lucy

    ReplyDelete
  4. great story aleia but you need to put praragraphs i love how you said zommed away

    from Emily W

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great story Aleia . Your story was exciting and I liked how your starting hook was intresting

    From Emily B

    ReplyDelete
  6. [Just looking amazed!]
    WOW ALEIA great writing I think you could be top writer this year

    ReplyDelete